Ask My Mom How She Is

Another beautiful Poem

My mom, she tells a lot of lies,
She never did before.
But from now until she dies,
She'll tell a whole lot more.

Ask my mom how she is
And because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
Because she can't describe the pain.

Ask my mom how she is,
She'll say "I'm Alright."
If that's the truth, then tell me,
Why does she cry each night?

Ask my mom how she is,
She seems to cope so well.
She didn't have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to yell.

Ask my mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm okay, I'm coping,"
For God's sake mom, just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken.

She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how she is,
She'll lie and say she's fine.

I am here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here,
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.

On the day we meet again,
We'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say, "You're lucky to get here, Mom,
With all those lies you told!"

Just some thoughts

So I hate it when people tell me "atleast you have Jaxen now" like it is going to make me forget or get over losing my SweetPea..I also get the "are you gonna try for a girl?" ok uh NO I have 4 boys that I adore & I feel like my Angel was a girl cuz I had 3 healthy boys b4 her & 1 after so to me SweetPea was a girl & instead of risking another miscarriage just in case I can't carry girls I am fine & happy with my boys..but Thanks for asking..ugh..

Ok onto other things now that I got that off my chest..lol..I feel like I am a lil obsessed with buying whatever I can to remind me of my SweetPea whether it be jewelry or just lil keepsakes for her memory box I seem like it will never be enough..I sadly only have 1 pic of her & it was an ultrasound 2 days b4 she died so she was so lil being only 7 weeks so I feel like I need things "for" her..I know weird, maybe one day I will think ok thats enough but I doubt it..lol...

Has anyone else ever felt this way? Do you think enough will ever be enough?