Thursday, September 5, 2013

Finally found a curio

i have been looking all over for a curio cabinet to put all my angels stuff & i finally found a perfect one..I just wnated to share it all filled with plenty of room to add :-)

My Angel checking out "her" curio <3 div="">

Monday, December 10, 2012

The closer it gets......

It is 8 days from your 4 year Angelversary and it is never easy no matter how many years pass since I lost you. I dread everyday cuz it is one day closer to remembering the worst day of my life. When we heard "I'm sorry I'm not seeing a heart beat" those words will forever be burnt into my brain and then having to put on a fake smile to cover my pain.

I want you to know ur lil brother has been such a blessing and has helped me so much. He truly has been my rainbow after the storm. I also want you to know no matter how much I am so grateful and love ur lil brother you will always be my baby and I love you so much and miss you everyday of my life. There is not a day that goes by I don't think of you and wish you were here with your brothers.

I love you my Sweet Pea and hold you in my heart everyday. As long as I live you will live. <3 xoxoxo love, mommy

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Ask My Mom How She Is

Another beautiful Poem

My mom, she tells a lot of lies,
She never did before.
But from now until she dies,
She'll tell a whole lot more.

Ask my mom how she is
And because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
Because she can't describe the pain.

Ask my mom how she is,
She'll say "I'm Alright."
If that's the truth, then tell me,
Why does she cry each night?

Ask my mom how she is,
She seems to cope so well.
She didn't have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to yell.

Ask my mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm okay, I'm coping,"
For God's sake mom, just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken.

She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how she is,
She'll lie and say she's fine.

I am here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here,
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.

On the day we meet again,
We'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say, "You're lucky to get here, Mom,
With all those lies you told!"

Just some thoughts

So I hate it when people tell me "atleast you have Jaxen now" like it is going to make me forget or get over losing my SweetPea..I also get the "are you gonna try for a girl?" ok uh NO I have 4 boys that I adore & I feel like my Angel was a girl cuz I had 3 healthy boys b4 her & 1 after so to me SweetPea was a girl & instead of risking another miscarriage just in case I can't carry girls I am fine & happy with my boys..but Thanks for asking..ugh..

Ok onto other things now that I got that off my feel like I am a lil obsessed with buying whatever I can to remind me of my SweetPea whether it be jewelry or just lil keepsakes for her memory box I seem like it will never be enough..I sadly only have 1 pic of her & it was an ultrasound 2 days b4 she died so she was so lil being only 7 weeks so I feel like I need things "for" her..I know weird, maybe one day I will think ok thats enough but I doubt

Has anyone else ever felt this way? Do you think enough will ever be enough?

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

You were my little bean,
that was created in my womb.
I laid in bed at night excited,
and now I'm full of gloom.
I never understood how much
you could miss someone you never met.
And now my heart aches so bad,
that it fills me with regret.
Was there something I did wrong?
How could this come to be?
Your little face, your hands, your feet,
is something I'll never see.
I loved you oh so much,
its something that cannot be explained.
Now these feelings of anger and jealousy,
make me feel ashamed.
You are my angel baby,
and that I know is true.
God is holding you now,
and listening to you cue.
You are in Heaven looking down,
watching mommy cry.
I wish you were here,
but then I know that this is not goodbye.
~Copyright Sarah Twigg